Role Reversal
by Ansy Pansy aka Panz
Summary: I think we need another intervention, yes we do and I’m sure you know who I’m talking about. Sanford Cohen the time has come.Rating for a little swearing!


Role Reversal

**Summary: **I think we need another intervention, yes we do and I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. Sanford Cohen the time has come.

**Disclaimer: **You can blame me for this crazy idea but the characters and the lines you recognise (like, most of them!) are the fault of Josh Schwartz!

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This was meant to be funny but it turned out sadder than I expected! I thought it was a new way to expound my anti-Sandy feelings in a humorous parody but you know, it just made me feel sad and desperate for the old Sandy to come back! Lol

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'Hello, anyone home?' Sandy called as he came in, briefcase in hand. His wife appeared from the kitchen, a tight-lipped smile on her face.

'Hey.'  
'Oh hey.'  
'Why don't you come into the kitchen...I need to talk to you.'  
That made him smile and say,'You're acting awfully mysterious,' as he followed her back into the kitchen, surprised to find a stranger along with his visiting mother and Ryan.  
'Oh,well I didn't know we had a company.'

The man approached him saying in a measured tone, 'Hi I'm Dr. Henntek Forowduf.' Slightly puzzled Sandy shook his hand.

'I'm a counsellor at the Kairus work and family imbalance rehabilitation centre.'  
'Uh ok, does someone…' his eyes flicked from his son to his mother in quick succession, 'wanna tell me what's going on?'  
'Your family requested that I be here todayto help them lead an intervention.'

What the hell? He moved his gaze to Kirsten, she looked anxious, frightened, upset.  
'Uh…' he faltered, raising a bushy eyebrow. 'What for? Why?'  
The doctor continued in that irritatingly calm voice, 'We are all here because we are worried that uh, you have an addiction to your job.'

He could see his family watching him nervously, wondering whether he was gonna bolt or yell or both.  
'Each person here wants to share their concern for you.'  
'Well that's very nice of everybody but not _necessary_.' He spat. What the fuck did they think they were doing? What was this prick doing in his house?  
'Kirsten, you go first.'

To his relief the stranger moved back out of his space but it was soon filled by Kirsten, her voice cracking as she spoke. 'I'm so sorry honeyhow hard this must be for you to hear...I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore, I don't want you to hurt the boys…I don't want you to hurt me.'

Sandy studied her, the self-protective stance, drawn face, the shadows beneath her eyes, eyes that were filled with hurt and tears.  
He never meant to hurt her. Honestly. This was all a mistake. He could fix this; it didn't need this kind of melodramatic soap-style intervention. 'Kirsten,' he stammered, 'don't you think you're overreacting? I mean everybody is overreacting.'

She didn't think that. He could tell from the helpless look he got in return. The doctor broke the moment between them saying, 'Sophie, please, now you.'

'Sanford.' The voice was commanding beneath its Bronx lilt and he turned to face his mother.'You know our history, you know I've battled it, and you know if it was me you'd be doing the same thing.'  
That really got to him. That grated. That riled him. How could she say that? Ok she was mad that he was no longer at the P.D.'s office but there was no need for barefaced hypocrisy. He raised his voice a notch, 'I don't know that, all the time you were out at work when we were kids, I just begged you to come home earlier_ I didn't lock you up_.'

'Ryan,' the doctor cut in before his furious mother could start a row.  
Sandy watched his foster son look nervously from the doctor to him and suddenly he couldn't bear to be judged by the boy who used to look up to him. Before he could stop himself the words were out of his mouth, 'Oh don't you say a word I brought you into this house.'

To his surprise Ryan hesitated for only a moment. The harsh comment didn't send him reeling backward but urged him forward.

'...Yeah…' he began, 'You did, because my own dad is in jail.'

That hurt. First, because he wasn't a criminal, and second, because Ryan shouldn't be going through something like this again. It wasn't fair.

'Because he let himself get taken over by what he was doing, even though_ I asked him not to_...I don't wanna see that happen again to someone Ilove.'

Sandy stood there, motionless, his brain trying to process the words, pride for his son mingled with disgust at himself. It didn't mean he would do what they wanted. They were out of their minds if they thought he would.  
'I don't know who you are or what you're doing here,' he snarled feeling vindicated by the shocked looked on everyone's faces, 'but _I. AM. NOT. GOING_!'

When he turned to leave he found his escape route blocked by his other son. Black haired joker met black haired joker. Blue eyes met brown.  
'Dad please, you _gotta_ do this.'

Time stopped for a couple of seconds. He could see his son's anxious chocolate eyes scanning his face but he was miles away. Perhaps they were right. He knew they were right. He was killing himself like this. He hated it. He nodded slightly in defeat and then had to break eye contact and look away. Even when he closed his eyes he could see the four sets of eye pleading with him. Sandy ran a tired hand over his face and through his hair, ducking his head. What had he done to his family? This is what he had driven them to. An intervention with a stranger, his wife asking him brokenly one more time, his mother flying in from New York at the request of the daughter-in-law she hated, one son refusing to back down, the other begging.  
Kirsten was beside him now, slipping her slender arms supportively around him. He pulled her closer, holding her tightly. He couldn't believe how close he'd come to losing her and it would have been all his fault. He could feel the silent tears running down her cheeks as he pressed his face into her hair, breathing the scent of her shampoo in the hope it would calm him. Seth, Ryan and Sophie came to join them and they stood for a moment together, an atmosphere of relief and yet apprehension filling the kitchen. This was his family and he'd almost driven them away. This was his second chance.

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The boys were sat in silence in the living room, Seth flicking aimlessly through the TV channels, in the hall Sandy hugged his mother warning her to be nice to Kirsten in the next few days before she left to return to New York.

'Aren't you glad you got to come back for all this fun,' he tried to joke.  
She smiled sadly in response.'Actually, I am.' A beat later and the soft voice was replaced by her usual tone. 'You needed a kick up the ass Sanford, I don't know what you were thinking. Running the Newport Group indeed. Pft!'

'I'll put the bag in my car,' Kirsten offered quickly, desperate to escape the impending rant. Sandy nodded and his mother caught herself.  
'I'll see you soon son,' she said, reaching up to kiss his cheek. 'Or I will if you bother to come visit me for once.'

He nodded and took a deep breath before turning to face his sons. His sons. His boys who didn't deserve this. His voice was gruff as he spoke. 'I'm so sorry...that I...put you both through this.'   
'Just get better.'  
And he would. He wasn't going to let them down again. He nodded confidently. 'I will,' and let his eyes move to Seth. 'Are you gonna be ok?'  
His other son nodded. 'Yeah I'll be fine, and don't worry...about mom we'll let her watch soppy movies and cry a lot.'

That made him smile, well, a sort of smile. He had to clench his teeth to keep his emotions in check.  
'I've got the kitchen covered in case she regresses in her cooking skills,' Ryan tagged in and then Seth again.  
'I'll be ready for fires; I'm good with the extinguisher.'  
'We'll be fine, really.'  
'I love you both so much,' he said, forcefully pulling them both into a bear hug, one arm tightly around each.  
---

Kirsten was putting his case in the trunk, the boys standing awkwardly on the step. Sandy sat in the passenger seat of the BMW feeling guilty and humiliated. His sons were watching him be driven away. His wife was silent as she climbed in beside him. And what did you say at a time like this anyway?

She fumbled with the keys and he knew it was because her hands kept shaking and her eyes were filled with tears. He rested his hand on her arm for a moment. Finally the engine revved and the car began to pull out of the drive. Sandy lifted his hand to wave at the boys; a small, apologetic salute. To his relief they both returned the gesture, a sign they didn't hate him for this. His wife stopped at the junction, both of them glancing back at their sons. Guilt overwhelmed him again and he had to look away, away from his sons and his wife who he hadn't even known he was hurting. He watched Newport slip by; thoughts turning endlessly round and round like the wheels of the car. Behind him Seth and Ryan watched the black vehicle grow smaller.

'Alright,' Ryan said when it had disappeared into the distance. He put a hand on his brother's back, shepherding him inside, 'Come on, you owe me a rematch.'

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Well I know a lot of it isn't really mine…as in most of it, but reviews are still appreciated. Even ones telling me not to be so weird and to write something half decent!

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